The Best Heisman Trophy Race Ever

The Heisman Trophy race has always been pomp and circumstance; most of us knew Cam Newton was going to win it, Tim Tebow and so on. 

This year is no different.  Andrew Luck is a lock for it this year, but his competiton is vastly different from previous races.  This year, his competition consists of other quarterbacks that happen to be Black.

I’ve only been a college football fan for about 15 years, and this is probably the first time I’ve seen this many Black quarterbacks (QBs) compete for the Trophy.  As a matter of fact, before Cam Newton won last year, only 3 other Black QBs have won (Andre Ware, Charlie Ward, Troy Ward).  This year, there may actually be 3 Black QBs in the running; Robert Griffith III, Denard Robinson, and Robert Wilson. 

And speaking of “running”, these 3 don’t fit the stereotype of the running QB.  These young men are intelligent athletes in which at least 1 of them runs a complex offense.  Just 20 years ago, most of the collegiate Black QBs weren’t given the opportunity to run complex offenses and even then the success stories were not given the chance to play QB in the NFL.

But today is a new day.  With Americans gradually being happier with quality over racial preference, even though its just sports, equality is slowly but surely being the standard and not the marching order.

Spring Weekend- Dreams

I had a great weekend; many things to think about and consider.  Friday I spent the day in court.  Divorce is a bitch.  I’ve come to the conclusion that you shouldn’t divorce anyone unless its REALLY necessary.  Only divorce if a person puts you in harm’s way.  I needed a to unwind and I was dragged out of the house by Sonya Sotamejor and taken to Joe Squared.  The band there was perfect for me that night, festively funky without being over the top.  My favorite bartender on Earth, AttilaTheFun gave me a drink called a Charlie Sheen.  Yes, a Charlie Sheen.  A four part drink:  Straight Rye Whiskey to represent Adonis, an element I forget for the Tiger’s Blood, sugar around the edge to represent to the cocaine, and a cherry in the bottom to represent the poonanay.  Let me tell y’all something…it put me on my a$$!!  Whew!  And of course, as traditional, AtillaTheFun and I had our back and forth along with our  traditional shot of his choice.    Needless to say I wasn’t a whole lot of good after all that.  But I appropriately waited to sober up a bit before I headed back home.

The next day I ran errands all day; haircut, purchase of hair products…. Yes, I have to purchase my hair products at the beauty supply.  Its my attempt at The Pretty Boy Effect.  That’s basically emaculance without looking efeminine.  What was interesting was my late night convo with a female friend.  She has a tendency to over analyse things especially about men.  In a nutshell, I told her to keep it simple;  stop playing and guessing.  Only make moves on what you know, not on assumptions.  She was eternally greatful.  I think….

Sunday morning-ish I had a dream.  I dreamed that I was watching a tv show ala BET Lounge (Circa 1990′s) and performing was a group called Black Fleetwood Mac.  Hehhehe…yeah!  The group consisted of Stokley from Mint Condition on drums and background vocals, Raphael Sadiiq on bass, Alicia Keys on keyboards and vocals, Jazmine Sullivan on lead vocals, and Martin Luther on guitar.  And in the dream, they sang “Never Break the Chain”, their version.  Sick.  Like I tweeted earlier today “I’m a genius in my dreams.” Can you imagine that??  For those of you who is not familiar with Martin Luther, check him out; very good guitarist and decent singer.

I’m working on the twitter campaign for it now.  Work with me a tweet #BlackFleetwoodMac.

NBA All-Brawl Team

I don’t know why I thought about this, maybe because of the psuedo-fight between the European dude and Jason Richardson.  But it got me to thinking, who would be the starting five of the All-Brawl team?  There are a couple of obvious picks for team such as Dennis Rodman, but what about the starting five?  I based my picks on number of fights participated in, actually punches thrown (not pushes or tackles), and notoriety.

Point Guard- Charlie Ward:  Ward was a 2nd round draft pick from a tough Florida State team.  He also was the Heisman Trophy winner in his senior as the school’s starting QB.  He translated that toughness to the hardwood where he took no crap from his opponents and never backed down from a skirmish; including his most famous one with PJ Brown in a playoff game.

Scrapping with the big man

Swingman- Vernon Maxwell:  When thinking back on this cat, I think that both he and the other Maxwell

NOT an NBA player

should have a testosterone exchange; Mad Max giveth, and Maxwell taketh away.  But that’s another blogpost.  Personally, I can’t remember any games that Maxwell did not have at least 1 shoving match in.  I especially remember him going after the fan in the stands.  Cost him a few dollars as well as a game or 2.

Small Forward- Ron Artest:    He was considered one of the most hated men in the league until he got on the the Lakers a couple years ago.  Could it be because he always mixed it up on the court? Or is it because he had big big dogs that scared his neighbors kids?  Hmm…Probably both.  Or the fact that he almost pummeled a fan in Indie.  Yeah, probably all of the above.

check out the look on the fan’s face

sleeper hold!!

Power Forward- Charles Oakley:  There were a lot of  mean power forwards back in the day.  But the one who topped the list to me is Charles Oakley.  I think he was meanest as a Knick.  A rebound fiend and was not afraid of anyone or to foul out.  There is a great folklore tale about Oakley.  Apparently he was at a night club enjoying the scene and his friends.   A random loud mouth comes up to him and starts talking mucho crapo to him.  Oakley says nothing; just stares into the fool’s eyes.  Out of the blue, Oakley smacks the dude across the face, stares at him, and then walks away.  Whoa.  Shaft lives!

Y'all remember Van Gundy in this one?

Center (tie)- Alonzo Mourning/Kareem Abdul Jabar: Alonzo Mourning’s most famous scrap was the one shown above.  But let’s not forget the many verbal and one very physical altercations with Larry Grandmama Johnson.  I wonder if they are still beefing?

Now Kareem got into some some fights too, but he fought BRUCE LEE.  Bruce.  ”The Call Me Bruce” Bruce Lee!  Sorry Centers, but that’s an automatic bid if I ever heard one.

that right looks nasty, don't it?

Hi YAAA!!!

And now for the rest of the team:

Guards- Jason Terry, John Starks

Swingman/forwards- Stacey Augmon, Isaiah Rider, Kendall Gill

Kendall Gill: He cracked Jimmy Jackson like that 10 years prior

Center- Dwight Howard

Back in the Day Summer Vacation

I don’t why I’m telling y’all this story, slow work day or all the talk of old school songs. But I feel compelled to share this one.

When was a kid, I was a Boy Scout in Troop 300; Southwest DC (no, I never lived in DC). One year, the troop leader decided to take us to Disneyworld during summer break. I got my mom’s permission and off I went. It was me, about 5 other scouts, the Troop Leader, and the Assistant Troop Leader. All of us loaded in a conversion van. Besides the older boys jonin’ on us younger boys, and one of us crying profusely because he was hungry, and some of those kids from the projects not knowing how to use a bathtub/shower combo, what I remember about the trip was the music. The 2 men seemed to have only 3 tapes; Lou Rawls Greatest Hits, the Best James Brown Ballads, and The Best of Ray Charles.

I’ll tell y’all this; I grew a new appreciation for Lou Rawls, but I still to this day hate “Try Me”. And there’s this other Ray Charles song that falls in that category but I don’t know the name. Keep in mind, this was a road trip from DC to Savannah, GA for a few hr layover, then from there to Disneyworld. The same. 3. Cassettes.
So peeps, when you take that family trip, please remember that variety is the spice of life. Don’t do your kids like that. Its scarring.

Harbor East Weekend

Whats up, peeps?  Hope you had a good weekend.  Mine was solid.  Nothing over the top memorable, but I figured I’d share it with y’all.

Opening Day: and Not Just the Orioles

Opening Day is quickly upon us. Can’t say that I’m excited given that here in Baltimore the source hope and excitement is the General Manager, but baseball is still one of my favorite sports and Baltimore is one of those good sports town.

Which leads me to the WORST sports town in America according to Forbes, Seattle.

The football team has only made 1 Super Bowl appearance in a losing effort, the basketball team is no more (well, at least in Seattle but in OK City their bound for greatness as soon as they left Seattle, and the Mariners have been to the playoffs (never to the World Series) in years.

so is there anything to look forward to on this opening day for Seattlites and why do I care? Beside my odd affiliation with Seattle (long story), there is a tie between a Baltimore Orioles fan and the Seattle Mariners. A few years ago, there was a big trade between the 2 teams; one that was supposed make or break either team. The O’s traded their ace, Erik “Bedtime” Bedard for potential phenom Adam Jones and 4 other players. Bedard was considered a cry baby and fans were ready to see him go. And since the outfield was so bad, a potential Gold Glove winner was a great addition.

Since the trade, neither team as even come close enough to smell the draws of a playoff contender. Therefore, when the 2 play, I call it the “Sewer Series”; both team play is straight from the gutter.

To me, when these 2 teams play, thats going to be the REAL opening day. By then there will be about 30 games under either teams’ collective belts. I am fully anticipating 13-17 start for the O’s and 10-20 start for the Mariners.    30 games is a good precursor as to how good or not so good a baseball team is.  For the O’s, there’s a lot of hope; especially since they were on fire for the last 20 or so games of the season.  The Mariners?  Eh, not so much.   The 2 teams play on May 10th in a 3 game series. Yes, I’ll be watching. Am I going to make a big deal about it? Of course not. I’ll probably mix it up with some good food at a quiet place; maybe at the Cross Keys Radisson. A nice quiet spot with a decent sized tv and good food and drink. Who knows? There might be a lonely business woman sitting at the bar. My luck she’ll be about 800 with a sideways limp. Oh well.

If I were in Seattle, I might do just the opposite (sort of). I’d go to one of the casinos with one of the large screen tvs. That way, I can be depressed watching what really should be a AA league game with all of the “happy” gambling addicts.

Is there any other way to watch 2 such sad franchises? **Le sigh**

The Price To Pay

Thanks to Facebook, I was reintroduced to a high school classmate.  I chat with her online every now and then, and yesterday has to be considered one of our strangest convos.

You see, Kidist (let’s call her that) has a boyfriend.  Kidist also knows that dude cheats; or at least attempts to cheat.

Ok.

Kidist caught said boyfriend in a lie.  Somehow she realized dude was not only creeping on her with some out of town chic, but chic had made the decision to come up to stay with him for the week.

Wow.

Now….most women would say “Oh!  So you getting some company for the week?  Oh….ok.  She can stay all year for all I care.  I’m out.”

Not Kidist.

She decides to straight block.  You see, she didn’t tell dude that she knew about the rendez vous (or figured it out is the better description).  She waited until the time where she thought homegirl would arrive.  Knocked on the door.  He answered. She wouldn’t go away.  She told him while she was in the doorway to make a decision right then and there….her or me.  Pick.  Now.  O-mmediately.

As Kidist suspected, dude just froze while the other chic, behind him, kept asking “DingaDong, what’s going on?”  Kidist did not budge.

DingaDong made his decision; he chose Kidist.  But wait!  There’s more!  Kidist was allowed in; and after hearing DingaDong’s response and seeing that Kidist was there to stay, all that DispondantChic could do was keeping asking “DingaDong?  What’s going on?  What is this?”  Of course, Kidist took this opportunity to seal the deal by instigating:  ”Its obvious what’s going on.  I’m in.  You’re out.”  And “Are you gonna drive all the way back to Richmond (from Alexandria, VA) or stay at the hotel?  Kinda late, you know.”  That must have gotten to DispondantChic as she THEN began repeating (something about this woman and repetition…I don’t know) “Jesus!  I can’t take this! My Jesus what is going on…”  Again, Kidist took this opportunity to instigate “That’s a good idea, because you gonna need Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha….all of them from the looks of it.”

Yeah.  She went there.  Full Blast.

But wait!  There’s more!  Not only do you have all of that, but now I give you this:  Kidist is now in the living room instigating while watching tv.  DispondantChic is following DingaDong all over the place, being, again, repetitive.  Kidist dropped the remote and sighed.  She then stood up.  ”Listen DispondantChic, its getting late.  You know the deal.  Now, I’m about to get in bed with my man, so you have 3 choices.  You can stay in the guest room, get back on the highway and do or go wherever, or you can get in the bed with us.  But I’ll be getting mine, you won’t.”

Yeah.  She were THERE as well.

Surprisingly, DispondantChic got quiet. Then she asked one question that she addressed to DingaDong: “can I speak to you in private?”  They went into the guest room, and 10 mins later, they came out.  She went into the bedroom, got her bags, and left.  Kidist didn’t consider herself triumphant, but she got the end result she desired.

I guess a good man is hard to keep; but you gotta find one first….

Over-analysis of Fandom

We all are aware of the couch and Monday morning QB’s; most are a bunch of ding-dongs who think they know football and don’t know nuffin’ (re: nothing).  Personally, I don’t comment about plays or coaching unless I can break a play or series of plays down.

Which brings me to my point….why can I do this but can’t pick out a jersey?  When I purchase a jersey, my first initial thought is “if I were a football player, which player resembles what/how I would be?  As a Ravens fan, the first thought would be LeRon McClain.  However, my stick-figure cousin has that same jersey.  Since we’re not in elementary school anymore, that’s not going to happen.  So then I start running thru the list of players who have jerseys you can purchase…..

1. Ray Lewis-  I’m a grown man, dawg.  The only grown men who wear that jersey have sons who wear that jersey in an attempt to create some flawed father-son bonding.  Fail.  Me no buy.
2. Joe Flacco- Not a bad choice, but Flacco seems to represent the heart and soul of Baltimore’s blue collar essence.  If he were a Colt from back in the day (who left like a thief in the night on March 29, 1984), he’d be Raymond Berry.  Being that I’m not a White, crew-cut donning,  Essex-Dundalk-Hamden- Federal Hill-Remington resident it might not be a good fit.
3. Terrell Suggs-  Again, I’m a huge Ravens fan, but T Sizzle is about the dumbest player (not person) on the field.  I would consider myself to be a little smarter if I were on the gridiron.  I”m an intellectual AND physical specimen.
4. Ed Reed- I ain’t that flashy.  Or that small.  NEXT!
5. Ray Rice- Eh!  Too popular.  He’s gonna be the other face (along with Flacco) when Uncle Ray retires.  I’m not that popular.  As a matter of fact, I would be considered more infamous than anything else.
6. Derrick Mason- see #4.  I doubt I could do the Billy Jean spin and stand on my toes ON TURF no less.  All my toe bones would be broke up.
7. Willis McGahee-  McGahee would be perfect BUT that kat is so embarrassing.  After seeing him on “Real Housewives of ATL” he lost some cool points with me.  Why?  You are a rich man, why do you need to have a long distance relationship?  Granted, Kandi (sp) is cute, but you are really close to DC….let me take you to 1 of 3 downtown areas and I’ll bet you a week’s salary we could find a chic twice as fine and just as cool as Kandi.  That blow he took in the playoffs did more damage than I thought.  Poor fella.  NEXT!
8. Michael Oher- Even though he had a movie made about his life, he’s an offensive tackle…that’s not sexy.  And me?  **looking in mirror** Well, I mean….come on!
9. Todd Heap-  Unfortunately, Todd’s last name too accurately depicts how he usually ends up in a game; laid out in a heap.   I’ve been to games and watched Heap jersey wearers kind of shrink and fall into themselves when Heap gets helped off of the field.  Now, on the rare occasions where he trots back on the field, they go bananas.  I don’t want to invest in the flip flopping of joy and pain. (are like sun-shine! and rain ((sing it now God’s children…)  oops.  Sorry about that.)
10. TJ Housmanzadeh- Since I no longer have the long, luxurious, beautiful locs, we don’t match since he still have the long, luxurious pony-tail.  Although I’ll always be a dred at heart, it just don’t match (reaches for hair that is no longer there) **sigh**
11. Mark Clayton:  I went into the Sports Authority and I saw a sign “Ravens Jerseys….40% off!!!”  I got siced. They had the purple ones, white ones, black ones; even pink ones.  Too bad they were all for a player who was traded to the Rams 4 weeks ago.  Buzzkill.

Well, from the process of elimination, I guess I’ll be getting an Anquan Boldin jersey.  Tough as steel, strong as a pissed of rhino, and big.  Even though he’s a WR, I’ll take it.

In the Moment: The Magic Wand

For the past week, I’ve hired/allowed/been blessed with one of my best friends being my life coach.  No; can’t really call him a life coach.  Hmmmm….maybe he his?  I dunno.  Here’s how it works; twice a day we call each other with a call that lasts no longer than 5 mins.  The 1st call consists of sharing the daily goals given what we know of each other’s long-term goals.  That comes from the adage of contributing a little to something everyday will get you to your goal over the course of time.

We both have created our “Magic Wand Career” as we both are at the career crossroads of working to be lucrative vs loving what you do.  Given the economic climate that treats all employees like hired guns or field laborers (depending on where you are in the food chain), we have decided to use our passions to create our dream careers and as stated before, we talk to each other everyday.  The 1st call is for goal-setting, what is going to be done today?  The second one is for review and readjusting goals as necessary.  So far so good.  With this “coaching” I’ve managed to get a lot more done knowing that someone outside of my realm is holding me accountable.

One last thing I’ll share about this coaching.  The goal settings are crucial.  Daily, short-term (over the course of  weeks), long-term (over the course of months), and end goal (whatever that goal may be.  For us its the Magic Wand Job).

The great thing about doing this, if by some chance I don’t succeed, I’ll come damn close and will gain a lot of knowledge, new relationships, and will probably be gainful in some other aspect (in this case, career-wise).  I’ve used this method twice to obtain 2 specific goals and both were successful so I’m confident in gaining success.  I used this method once and abandoned it once.  Guess what happened?

Well!  Enough of that.  Time to get it in……

Time for the Quadrafeca

What a great month.  Lessons, lessons, and more lessons.

But let’s keep it light, shall we?  I’m what some would call a Renaissance Man; I am at worst a psuedo-intellectual, I play 2 instruments, I dress in style but with an eclectic flair, and I speak 3 languages (American, Spanish, and a drop of Arabic).

However, it has recently dawned on me that I should add another language to my repertoire.  Amharic.  Amharic is the language of the Ethiopian people.  I’m not Ethiopian, but I play one on tv; or so I’m told.  I’ve been asked twice this month whether or not I’m Ethiopian; once by a man with Ethiopian in-laws and another by a fellow…I mean Ethiopian man.

I was waiting for the MARC train; the commuter train from Baltimore to DC.  Hot day; probably the last hot day of the year. While small beads of sweat accumulated on my brow to irritate me needlessly, a man walked past me slowly with his arms behind his back and looking at me.  No big deal.  Then he walked past me again in the same flow.  ”This nigga bout to beg me for some loot….damn!  Its too hot for this shit.” I thought.  Sure enough, he approached me with the “Excuse me sir….”

” oh lawd” (rolling eyes)

“…are you from Addis Ababa?”

“Yes.”  (I thought he said something else.)

“Oh!  You’re a long way from home, aren’t you?”

“Huh?  No, the mosque is only out in the county….”

“Huh?  No, no, no. **laughing** I asked you were from Addis Ababa.  You know, the capital of Ethiopia.”

“OH!!! **laughing** No, sir.  I’m not.  I thought you said something else.  It’s funny you should ask me that ’cause I was gonna ask you the same thing.”  From there we continued to chat.  He went on to tell me his sister’s mother-law is married to an Ethiopian consulate and how when he went there for a wedding some of the guests were offended that he was wearing Nigerian clothes even though he’s Ethiopian.  Hilarious.  But I know how he feels.

My best “are you Ethiopian” story was about 10 years ago when I was leaving the Pentagon City Mall in Arlington, VA.  Me and my frat brother were leaving the parking lot.  When we got to the parking attendant, she gave me a strange look and then a smile.  ”Hello,” I said.  ”Hello!”  she said in an excited, thick Ethiopian accent.  We did the monetary exchange, but when I handed her the money, she didn’t take it but said “You are very handsome!”

“Thank you!” I blushed while Smash began to chuckle.

“Are you Ethiopian?” she asked.  Smash chuckled harder.

“No,” I smiled.  ”100% American.”

“you’re not half?” she asked.  Smash is straight laughing now.

“Nope.  Unfortunately not”

“Are you sure?” she asked.  Smash was done at this point.

“Uh, yeah, I’m sure.  But I’ll ask my mom if there’s something that she’s keeping from me when I see her.”

Today, I’m doing the Office at Panera today.  I was prepping my coffee when I mentioned to a gentleman “Man, women can talk can’t they?”

“Excuse me?”

“See those 2 women over there?  They were talking when they walked in the door, talking when they were in line, and talking on their way OUT the door.  How do they do that?”

He laughed.  ”Yes.  Sometimes they talk.”  He paused. “I do know you from somewhere.  We have had a conversation at the gym, yes?  In the pool?”

I thought for a moment. “Unless it was years ago, no it wasn’t me.”

“Oh,” he said slightly disappointed.  ” You look like an Ethiopian man I spoke with.  Does anyone ever ask you if you are Ethiopian?”

I paused and snickered.  ”Brother, it seems like at least once a month.”  We both laughed at that one.

Amharic lessons, here I come.