I Woke Up

November 25, 2008

This morning I arouse to a dark, cold space surrounded by my belongings.   Being the night owl that I am, the mornings bare little excitement.  In my mind, musing of all things in my life; odd sweet bitter.  Bitterly odd, oddly sweet.

Instead of the usual routine of listening to NPR in the morning, I slide in a cd and listen to “I Wish” by V.  A warm sensation courses through my chest; this song does something to me that is unique in of itself.  A good song to sing and a source of inspiration.

The train ride is the quietest I can remember in a long time.  Still.  I do doubt, however, that it is the ride as opposed to my perception.  All things including myself; Still.

Work is work; a form of interaction with others for the sake of monetary gains for yourself and your employer.  I sit at my desk with a noble attempt at due dilligence, but the urge for fresh air and open space is too much.  The palely lit rectangular device on my desk is quickly becoming an annoyance.  Exit.

Its a brisk day in the nation’s capital.  Partly sunny and a stiff breeze makes me periodically immitate a leather-clad pigeon seeking refuge from the cold within the confides of itself.  I casually tight the scarf around my neck and place my hands in my pockets.  I increase the steadiness in my gate.

My destination is actually to run an errand, but in the middle of this errand, I suddenly realize my location.  Maybe I realize this because of the small, yet fluid groups of tourists roaming about.  Maybe I realize this because of the song that I hear from my headphones.  Maybe I realize this because of a combination of many things.  But I’m asked…no ordered, to stop moving.  Still.

The Smithsonian Mall.  Approximately a mile and change in length from the Washington Monument to the Capitol.  My eyes touch the far (Monument) end and scan.   Part of the way, I stop.  There is a spot I vaguely recognize.   Yes; some 10 plus years ago, on a mild day in October, I stood in this vicinity during the Million Man March with other men who shared the vows of a new day.  Many men, mostly Black, but many men nonetheless who tired of the conditions of a People.  Who wanted more for themselves and the ones/communities they hold dear.  This march proved…….

Wait.  Perspective.  Impromptu Meditation.

35 years before that, on a cold day in December, who was in that same vicinity?  Who stood where I stood to hear Dr. King give his famous speech?  Who stood there and have the same euphoric feeling of hope and change?  Did they actually feel that way?

I scan the remaining length of the mall.  It ends at the Capitol steps.  There, builders busy themselves with the creation of platforms to physically support an unprecedented event in world history.  In less than 60 days, history in the making.  One man, soon to be the unofficial leader of the free world, will stand before the world and God, to become the 44th President of the United States of America.

Holy shit.

My eyes scan back to where I stood in history, physically and personally.  My “spot”.  Who will stand there?   Who will stand there and have the same euphoric feeling of hope and change?  Will  they actually feel that way?

Again.   Perspective.  Impromptu Meditation.

Yes.  They is “he”.  ”He” will stand there.   ”He” will have the same euphoric feeling of hope and change as did “his” precedessors.  ”He” will absolutely feel that same way.

For “he”, is Me.

I wipe the lone tear that has slowly crawled down my face and begin to walk….