No, this is not a post about me looking at boobs or butts at Union Station, it’s about the difference of actual sightseeing in Washington, D.C. vs Baltimore. The 2 cities are very close, yet so different. Both are historical, but Baltimore’s is more sporatic; Civil War history, Civil Rights history, Revolutionary War, etc. In D.C., it’s the capital of America so all things that have to deal with that history and the infancy of the country. Well, we all know that shit is for tourists. What you really wanna see in either place is the cool stuff; in B-more you wanna see where they shot scenes from “The Wire” (not a good idea, by the way). In DC you wanna try and do a sort of “Where’s Waldo?” type thing except Waldo is Mayor Marion Barry and you want to find him so you can yell “bitch set me up!” out the window at him.
Well, those are all well and good, but both cities have other aspects that I’m sure no one even considers. For example, did you know that B-more has one of the lowest homeless counts for big cities (3100, 0.5% of population) ? As a resident, what’s odd about that number is that it seems like a lot more because of the memorable encounters you have with homeless people. I’ve had too many to mention here, but the one I had the other day was quite memorable.
I was sitting at a light in the early hours of the morning, and on the curb I see this man in some hiking shoes, khakis, button-down shirt, red tie, blue blazer, and fishing cap. Maybe he was on his way to work, ’cause he damn sure wasn’t homeless, but THIS dude was panhandling! In a shirt and tie??? Damn that’s new! And then he asked me in a somewhat eloquent and clear voice “Excuse me sir, do you have a couple of dollars I can have?” I was like “uh, no. You probably got more in your pocket than I do.”
Did you know, that DC is ranked 9th in the nation as far as the percentage of gays in the city and surrounding areas (8.1%)? The gay area of DC is called DuPont Circle which pales in comparision in gay-friendliness to Market Village in San Fran or Boystown in Chicago (nice name, huh?). I bring all of this up because I was on the train that goes to DuPont Circle and as I’m about to switch trains, my gaydar goes off. Walking next to me is this crossed dressed kat in all black. Black blouse, black capris, and black baby doll shoes. What got me about the shoes were the trenormous size; they had to be 13 or 14’s. This went hand and hand with his/her/it trenormous size; dude was at least 6’5. And besides the outfit, he acessorized too; silver hoop earrings, dark lipstick, and I guess some foundation too. WOW. Too much for me so early in the morning!
So! When you come to DC, don’t worry about the monuments, the Capitol, or the White House. Check out the cross-dresser-should-be basketball team in Dupont Circle (or even U St). When you come to B-more for a visit, forget about the Aquarium, the Inner Harbor, or Fort McHenry. Go up and down Lombard and Pratt streets to see who has the best hustle. Make the most of your summer before it’s gone!